Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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