if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
