Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
