Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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