This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I looked at my own cervix.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
