my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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