By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
