I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize