Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
