Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
