Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
