Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
