so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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