Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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