o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
