I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
