im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
