can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
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