Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
