Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
