Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
