someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
