If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
