Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
