names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Holy shit dude........stairs
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
