Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
