birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
NoShamevember. You game?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize