So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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