Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize