we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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