I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
