Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
sarcasm needs its own font
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
