About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
