My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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