i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
