You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
