I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
