Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
