i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
