tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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