perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
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