Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
