Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
The beers last night were like the tears from god
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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