i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
