I CAN MOONWALK!
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
