Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
