we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
