We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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