I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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