Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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