he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Terrible idea I love it
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
