I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Randomize
