I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
