Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I can tuck mytits in my pants
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
