After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
