White coat. Heels.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Randomize
