arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
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