SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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