i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
