And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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