I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
