3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
