i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I believe in your delicious
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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