I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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