What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
