You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
