Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize