Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i came on her dog
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
